Christianese?

  
Sometimes I feel like I am doomed to speak fluently and convincingly in a language that I do not understand. I am conditioned to speak Christianese.The situation is so drastic that there are times when I can't even explain something without using words that have been ingrained in my vocabulary by the churchy culture I grew up in. Every now and then I will catch myself saying something only to realize that I don't even know what it means. Worse even, sometimes I say Christiany things that, if I was completely honest with myself, I don't mean at all.
    For example, there is a line in the Lord's prayer that says, "forgive us our sins, as we forgive others". Now I've said this prayer plenty of times, but when I analyze it a little bit I realize that it's not something I want to say. Why in the world would I tell God to forgive me based on how well I forgive others? That's crazy talk, right?  I mean, I struggle with forgiving others, it's really hard. If somebody wrongs me or tries to take advantage of me, it pisses me off. I don't want to turn the other cheek I want to make sure that person is brought to justice, and if that doesn't happen I take justice into my own hands. Really forgiving somebody, not just saying it but living like it too, is not something that I'm accustomed to, and yet I have the audacity to tell God to forgive me as I forgive others.
   So why do I say things, and do things without thinking about what they actually mean? How did I allow myself to become so conditioned by my culture, that words that should carry meaning, and power, and serious implications have been reduced to mindless babble? I recognize the need to un-condition myself, but I'm not even sure what that process would look like. So for now I guess I will just resign to a simple plea, God please help me break the chains of saying words without meaning.